Vega’s Tail

I went out walking with my mum
And lots of dogs did sniff my bum
One came along and jumped on board
And all the people said, “Good Lord!”

They all agreed that I was fit
And every one wanted a bit
They even tried to hump my head
Why couldn’t they just play instead?

There was not even a reason
It’s not like I am in season
There’ll be no puppies, ’cause you see
There’s someone else lined up for me

A dashing stud for when I’m two
I’m breeding stock, not destined to
Be impregnated by a dude
So we went home and had some food

But perhaps later, we just may
Be taken out by our dad, Grae
And we’ll make sure he won’t get stuck
Up to his knees in smelly muck!
Again!

Passion Killers

Tonight, you’re mine completely
Apart from the puppies and cat
But there’s nought I can do about that
I’d kiss you passionately
But I’ve just seen the dogs lick you on the lips
And no doubt you saw them do the same to me
Just after tea
Don’t worry, it was kinda funny
And I kept my mouth closed
Here comes kitty
She’s just been scratching in her litter
and now she’s on your lap
All good; no mishap
Sweetheart, tonight you’re mine completely
What flavour bubble bath?